Take an honest look at some of the most important relationships and activities in your life. How many of your actions, thoughts, conversations, and more or lack thereof have to do with your avoidance of disappointing others or being disappointed?
As you notice areas, situations, and people in your life where fear of disappointment is present, see if you can tell the truth about it in a vulnerable way to the people involved. Take responsibility for how you feel and remember that your issue with disappointment is all about you, not them.
Be authentic and vulnerable about it — with yourself and others. As you delve into this, be kind to yourself. Showing yourself kindness is a big one for me and so many people I know and work with.
We all want to be loved, valued, and appreciated in our lives. And, most of us have had painful experiences of disappointment in the past, which have profoundly impacted us. However, if we can alter our relationship to disappointment — we can grow stronger and transform our lives and relationships in a beautiful way!
Share your thoughts, ideas, insights, actions, and more on my blog below. I have written five books about the importance of trust, authenticity, appreciation, and more.
In addition, I deliver keynotes and seminars both in-person and virtually to empower people, leaders, and teams to grow, connect, and perform their best. Finally, as an expert in teamwork, leadership, and emotional intelligence, I teach techniques that allow people and organizations to be more authentic and effective. Find out more about how I can help you and your team achieve your goals today. You can also listen to my podcast here.
Do You Have Healthy Boundaries? Prioritizing Our Mental Health. Hey Mike, Again this week, you have been channeling my life in your blog! Last week, I had this very important presentation, worked on it for several weeks and was feeling very positive about the whole thing. The first group of trainees were very responsive and all seemed to go over well with the group on what was expected of them to do.
I was feeling very proud and excited of how well it went. These people were rude, arrogant and did not want to hear anything I had to say, regardless of whether it affected them or not. With their actions, I was taken aback because I was just presenting what was asked of me to do and was not even dreaming of coming up with such opposition.
I felt like a complete failure, disappointed at the lack of respect that was given to me and disappointed in myself for letting it get so out of hand and not handling myself stronger. I went home and cried for several hours, not really for what was said or done, but the disappointment I felt after all the hard work and innovation that was put into this project, the disappointment of having to even be in this position at my work and the disappointment of the negative actions other humans bestow on one another.
Thanks for your blog this week! Or putting yourself on the line for your job, but getting laid off as your boss did not appreciate you.
Each time, you had an expectation that was not met, and when confronted with the truth, you became disappointed. Here, your disappointment comes from the mismatch between reality and your expectation. Yet, the reality has been this way all along — reality did not change in that one second leading to your discovery of the truth. The world did not conspire to bring you down. The reason you feel disappointed is because you discovered the truth — and this truth is not what you thought it would be.
So, think of your disappointment as a troubleshooting tool to understand the gaps in your mental framework of reality. By using disappointment to understand more about the world and correct your assumptions, you become more knowledgeable and wiser. You can also correct your actions to better achieve your goals. Last but not least, this may seem cliche, but disappointment makes you stronger.
When you go through a harsh emotion like that, you become tougher. You learn to process and work through your emotions. In the next part, we examine 3 destructive approaches that people use when faced with disappointments, and why you should not adopt them. If you like this article, join my newsletter where I share more personal growth insights. Whatever our developmental history may be — having a secure base or not — disappointment can provide us with valuable information about our beliefs about ourselves, other people, and what makes us happy.
Constructively dealing with disappointment can be a self-curative process that can contribute to personal growth and make for greater resilience. Take Winston Churchill as an example. Early in his career, the disastrous First World War military campaign at Gallipoli forced him to resign from his position as First Lord of the Admiralty. But the plan utterly failed, and tens of thousands died.
Churchill was disgraced and demoted. To cope with this calamity and the subsequent humiliation, he refocused his attention and energy away from politics. Six months after his demotion, he became an infantry officer and joined the fight in France. Such soul-searching provided him with new information about himself, the world, and others.
Far too many people, when faced with disappointment, tend to attribute negative life events to their personal failings. They resort to obsessional self-blaming, as they feel ashamed or humiliated of not measuring up to the image of their ideal self. As a result, they direct their anger inward , to themselves. It may prompt them to say that they deserved it, that they were not good enough.
It will contribute to feelings of spite, vindictiveness, and bitterness. Unfortunately, both emotional reactions keep the person stuck in a web of disappointment.
In many instances, disappointment can turn into a lingering sadness — a feeling of loss, of being let down, or even of betrayal. How can we overcome it? To constructively deal with disappointment, we need to first understand what has happened. Some instances of disappointment are predictable and preventable. But there are others that are unavoidable and beyond our control.
To manage disappointment, we need to differentiate between situations that fall within our control and factors that are beyond it. Being able to recognize the difference will help us to deal with our frustrations more appropriately. We also need to check whether our expectations are reasonable. Are we having unrealistically high expectations, and thus aiming too high? Disappointment, on the other hand, is an emotion powered by shame. More Scriptures On Disappointment Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth Does not become tired or grow weary; There is no searching of His understanding. He gives strength to the weary, And to him who has no might, He increases power.
The pervading atmosphere or tone of a particular place, event, or period; that quality of a work of art or literature which evokes or recalls a certain emotion or state of mind. It does appear that disappointment can be mood and tone. Know that disappointment is a better emotional state than apathy. When someone is apathetic, they feel indifferent about everything.
But here, you recognize your emotions and you feel them — be it good or bad. This is a good thing, because to feel is to be in touch with your inner self. Focus on precisely what has happened that has upset you and explain your reasoning. Perhaps your disappointment shows itself as sadness. Or maybe it manifests as anger at your partner or at the world for bringing these circumstances into your life.
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